Starting Up Again

Whew! When I signed up to work on the Silent Book Contest (much luck and fun to all the finalists!), I had no idea what kind of a journey it would be for me as a visual storyteller. I have to say that I am proud of my work.

After reviewing all of my pieces, I can really see how far I've come as an illustrator. Know what the cool part is? I can see how far I need to go. However, I do not think this is a bad thing at all. Instead of being sad that my work isn't the best it can be, I'm excited to push forward. It's been so long since I put pencil and brush to paper and the process was incredible for me. To take a moment and step away from the computer, the manuals, brochures, and annual reports, and just draw. That took me back to art school.

Which brings me to my current status. I did not make finals for this contest. I sort of knew that in my heart of hearts, but the amount of work needed to make this story happen exhausted me! I had started another manuscript earlier in the year before sending in the contest artwork.

Then all gears came to a squealing HALT.

I was just tired. Do you ever get creatively tired? If you say no, I know you're lying! Or you just started. Or you think you are not creative. Or you are a non-human member of a super-genius creative race. In which case, please contact me directly so we can get together and talk shop. No probes please.

Thankfully I have my amazing friend, Charla, and a pretty great critique group to get me started again. I also attended another writing conference here in Michigan to start my crusty brain back up again. Charla and I were excited to say that even though we go through creative valleys, at least we "show up" for things.

Showing up is important. You can be tired, drained, or just burnt out but you can show up! Show up to your computer to write (gaze at the flashing cursor for a while, perhaps make up a song to it's beat). You can show up in front of your sketchbook (maybe just write out your grocery list and draw some smiling produce). You can also show up to conferences, meet ups, and critique groups.

Just show up! Just try! It's so important to take that step. It will be messy. You may just make mistakes, but at least you're there and you're learning.

Stay on the path...

In the Waiting...

Who requires months of work be due right after the holidays? Apparently the contests I decide to enter. Starting in September, I decided to enter into a contests to stretch myself artistically with illustration. Boy was I ever stretched! Not used to drawing daily, I ended up with over 40 individual illustrations.

40! Forty! Four - oh!

That's a lot of pictures. During that time I went through the typical creative process of loving it, doubting, hating it, questioning myself, reaching out, being affirmed, loving it, doubting it, hating it, being glad it is done, and sending it off with a shrug of the shoulder and one eye closed.

Anyone else have that experience? I felt very relieved to have that bit of stress and excitement finished and behind me.

I am also happy to announce that I have a finished, and really fun middle grade manuscript out in query form to various agents. I am very excited about this story and it is really unexpected.

I once went to a local writing conference for a last-minute injection of writing inspiration. I was feeling down, uninspired, and frankly, tired. I don't work well under those conditions. We all don't work well under those conditions! However, I found myself in another town, sitting next to strangers and about to listen to a great bunch of authors from totally different genres than myself speak about their writing process.

Two ladies, a novelist and a non-fiction writer, gave a lively talk about pushing through the pain of writing. One woman had a small child and a newborn while writing one of her books. Instead of allowing her work to be set aside for another year (or years - ahem), she made herself work. She was tired, uninspired, exhausted, and pulled in many different directions. She kept saying, "Keep writing! Establish a beachhead! DO NOT DIE!"

The other woman, caring for an ill daughter and mother around the clock, found herself uninspired, exhausted, tired, and not in the writing frame of mind. What did she do? She wrote. She pushed through. When she wasn't inspired, when she was out of ideas, she wrote. She didn't let her manuscript die!

The running theme you may all find that successful published authors will tell you (and by successful, I do mean PUBLISHED), is that they kept writing. Whether it was good, bad, weird, or made no sense. They kept writing. And when they were done writing? They were editing ... and editing ... and even editing some more.

I often find the magic comes in editing for myself. However, at the conference I needed to hear that. I needed to establish a beachhead. I could not let my story DIE, right there, on the beach. So, I went home and started with a nice little fantasy novel that morphed. And MORPHED. Into something else entirely. Instead of telling myself, "NO SELF! You can't let your manuscript cross over into another genre. Stick with what you labeled yourself!" I just went with the flow.

It was very freeing actually. I just kept writing and writing. It became Contemporary, then Sci-Fi, then Mystery, then all those things! I just kept going. I changed course, I changed names, I added a new plot part way through the first 5,000 words. My manuscript became a glorious mess! I kept going. As I went, I picked up wonderful details to add here and there, I created rich characters. My world was full, almost too full, and I kept going.

I can remember the day I finally finished that crazy manuscript. It was a hot mess in a lot of ways. Spelling, grammar, pacing, facts, you name it; they were all over the place, but I was finished! I had a beginning, a middle, and an end. And whoa, what an ending! I knew I had something and it was good.

Want to know something? I went on to edit that story for three more months. I'm not talking on and off. I'm talking, working every day, asking the husband to take the kids out so I can work kind of work. The story was heavily trimmed. It was molded, punched, shaped, and sometimes kicked into a great tale full of great characters. I'm pretty excited about it.

Is there something you have been putting off? A project, or manuscript, or anything else that seems insurmountable? Well, I have a good bit of advice.

Keep going.

Do. Not. Die.

On the path...

Frankie

This is all coming together people. I'm working on a picture book and have been inspired to work on a picture book dummy (yipes! zoiks!). I recently received a fantastic critique by a professional and was encouraged to do more of my narwhals. There's a story here. I'm excited to work on bringing it to life.

On the path...

Work, work, work...

Honestly, if I could bypass picking up the kids at school (sorry kids), dinner, homework, laundry, eating, and sleeping, I would keep working! No, I haven't hit a romantic spot in my work where everything is coming up roses. Rather, I have finally gotten myself over the artistic "hump" as it were, and found that I can just keep going.

This watercolor doesn't work? Scrap it. Start again. This sketch looks funny? Scrap it. Start again. Characters not coming out just right? Totally scrap it and do sometime different. One day I stopped drawing narwhals and just drew babies. Just because.



I can improve everywhere! Finally I have found that sweet spot where I can just sit down and start working on something and just keep going! I don't bemoan the fact (at least not a LOT), that this particular piece didn't turn out. I just keep going. Whoo hoo!

Right now I am having a hard time with my watercolors. I love working in watercolor! It was one of my favorite mediums to work with in college. The professor who taught my watercolor class was so good (at teaching and watercolor alike) that I took it twice! So, even though I am able to do sketches like this:

I am not so happy with my children's book characters in this medium right now. So I have turned to colored pencil for the moment. I think I like it so far. This is a sketch I did today with ink and colored pencils. Cat sort of blends in, but otherwise, I like it. I wish I had a grey and white rug like that one.

However, after a thorough and insightful critique by a trusted professional in the field, apparently vector is my strong suit. Hm. So I am not sure what to do with this pencil drawing. Expound upon it? Or do I convert it to vector like all my other drawings?

I am still learning. Being in a like-minded community helps. Everyone has opinions and not all of them are the same. At some point my work will strike a chord with someone out there. Then I will be IN!

On the path...

Portfolio Re-DO!

Ugh. Sometimes when inspiration hits, I jump for joy! Other times, I want to go hide under a table in the fetal position. This is one such occasion. Last week I attended a free webinar hosted by Mark Mitchell with special guest, Wendy Martin.

The webinar was all about using the program, Adobe Illustrator for children's illustration. Now, most people would be super-excited to attend just such a webinar. FREE! Right? I have to admit I was a bit reluctant. You see, I've been a graphic designer for 13 years and have been using the Adobe suite for a bit longer than that. I work all day on a computer. I do vector art on the computer. The last thing I wanted to do was sit down to the computer at night to draw.

For work, I did things like this:

Fun, right? A cute little t-shirt design here, infographics there. Seriously though, I was more excited to sit down to the drafting table and draw with REAL pens and pencils, and paint with watercolor and acrylics. For me, this was so cathartic and relaxing. Going back to the computer was not even in my thoughts.

However, after a mere 5 minutes of this webinar by Wendy (a highly talented artist - check out her website!), I realized my mistake. I've been frustrated with color, and correcting mistakes, things you can't really control in traditional mediums. While I am not ditching the traditional by any means (I actually start there), I realized that my talents do lie in Illustrator. It's just what I'm good at doing!

Here is a before and after shot of an illustration of my lovely little narwhals:

You can probably tell which is which. This was my first attempt at "vectoring" my original art. What do you think? Not bad for one day, eh? Obviously, there is more that I can do, but for right now, I'm working night and day on transforming my portfolio. I hope this works!

On the path...

Welcome to the world's only museum dedicated to the art of the picture book. Do you recognize this quilt? It's the original Keeping Quilt from Patricia Polacco's book by the same name. Isn't that cool? This, among many other interesting and beautiful artifacts live in this beautiful little space of the art museum world.

Thanks to the Michigan SCBWI chapter, we were able to have a private tour of the museum as well as a presentation by the founder and curator, Dr. Jerry Mallett. All over the walls of the Director's office were "signatures" of visiting illustrators. Below are just a few:

 A poster from Ed Emberley:

This is actually a linocut print!

Freight Train by Donald Crews:

The Paper Boy by Dav Pilkey (not just great at drawing school principals in underpants):

Oink, Moo How Do You Do? by Grace Maccarone:

The kids at the door, welcoming children of all ages to come and experience beautiful art:

The coolest part about this museum? There is a play space right in the middle of the museum. It's truly for kids. I will be back!

on the path...

More Black and White

I finally translated some sketches to "real life" in paints and ink this week. I am not sure where this guy is going or what he is searching for, but he's really intent on finding whatever it is he's looking for.

The only thing I'm frustrated with about working in black and white is the loss of detail after my scans. No matter how I try to adjust the settings, the scan doesn't pick up all the brush pen strokes that I think just makes these pieces perfect. So perhaps working on understanding scanning should be next on my list!

On the path...

Finding Time

I haven't yet heard back from any publishers just DYING to hire me right away. (positive thoughts!) The struggle right now is to find appropriate time to sketch regularly. The days are just packed with workout, work, school and after school activities. But I think I've found my way around it ...

 

Have a happy Wednesday!

- on the path...

Nerves

Okay, I'll be honest. I have been submitting manuscripts to the publishing world for over 10 years. Yep. More than a decade. And according to the pros, that's a drop in the bucket. In that time, I've had some pretty big bumps and bruises as well as some seriously gracious and kind rejection letters. I honestly was just thrilled to receive a letter that wasn't a template someone slapped in the mail.

Back in March I stopped hovering and decided to join SCBWI (The Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators). This group is the most welcoming, spirit building, constructive bunch of people I have ever met. On one of my first critiques I was met at the door with hugs. Hugs! The advice I received there was incredible.

Now that I am sending out samples, I have the jitters again. In my research I hear all kinds of scary things like "If you don't xyz ... your art gets TRASHED!" and "If your art doesn't match our style ... it gets TRASHED!" and "If you have a less than stellar award-winning piece in your portfolio ... it GETS ... immediatelysentbacktoyouinthemailviatheenclosedSASE." [pant ... pant]

So I spend hours pouring over market books and publisher's websites. The books are all highlighted and tagged and the websites are bookmarked. I've even researched in places like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn (I recommend the last as a handy way to find the most updated staff info!).

The more I read, the more tweets I see from art directors, the more I psych myself out. You are only as good as your worst work. This I learned early on in art school. NEVER include a weak piece.

Well, what IS my weak piece? Right away I pluck out the bad ones. Then I over-think it. THEY'RE ALL BAD!! THEY STINK!

Wait. I kinda like those chickens.

Wait. Are they good?

Wait, that flying pig is pretty fun.

Wait, her color looks garish on the scan.

Then I take a breath. I pick out the one picture that drew gasps from my critique group and plop it on my postcards. Go with the gasps.

I'm sending them. It's a breeze of cool air in the hot summer months. What the heck. I have to start somewhere don't I?

Here's hoping!

– jenny

There We Go

Sometimes in my eagerness I rush into projects only to abandon them when they don't quite work out. This isn't true with illustration though, I find myself up to the challenge of a redo, and am given a pleasant surprise at the results.

Remember my last problem of the varying illustrations styles? See the last post for reference.
Here is the first picture in that group, redone:

What a difference, eh? I'm happy with the results. Now to package all these samples up and send them out to publishers. Round 1 in full swing!

– jenny

A Progression

When it comes to cranking out portfolio-worthy pieces ... I'm ON IT! I'm churning out ideas in my sketchbook. I'm immediately putting pencil to paper. I'm finding every scrap of time to sit and work on the finished product.

I'm ON IT!

Turns out, I'm a little too on it. While I thought that I was in a great groove, I discovered that my "style" as it were, is still under construction. Below are my three illustrations. They're supposed to go together but they look like they belong in three different books! The illustrations are in order of #1, #2, and #3. As they go, the lines get finer and the colors are progressively bolder. Arg!

My question to myself now is, should I try to fix #2? I'm definitely starting over on #1. But I just love how #3 turned out. I suppose I don't need to be so shy with color. It's definitely a process!

Perhaps it's time for a walk.

– jenny

Illustration Portfolio Live!

I just can't believe it. After a year of really trying to put something together for illustration, I've finally managed to do it!

Isn't he cute? A few years back when I exited the baby fog and started to sketch again, I made a series of dogs. Mostly because my office was shared by my springer spaniel, Butchie (Butch - my husband named him, not me). I wasn't sure where this sketching would lead to. At the time, I was overwhelmed with my children, my housework, and my job. I worked in a tiny, cramped office while my children and babysitter romped around the house as I tried to work. There were many days when I would finish work late at night, often working until 3AM or later, just to hit a deadline. I was exhausted, overworked, overstressed, and looking for an outlet. So I sketched.

In the back of my mind, I knew I wanted to do something more. I longed to get out the supplies from my art school days, dust them off, and get to work. Work on exactly what, I couldn't tell you at the time. I just longed to make something again. To put pen to paper and see what happened.

It was a painful beginning. During my college days I had to do 100 studies of hands, draw 25 full skeletons from various angles, sketch hundreds  of faces, and didn't think much about it. Okay, the hands were hard, I did think about that. However, sketching now, half dazed, half asleep, I would stare at the blank page, make false starts, erase, and stare some more. Butchie found his way onto more than one page.

Now I can say that I'm truly on my way to being a published illustrator! In March of this year, I joined SCBWI (The Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators), and have no regrets at all. Even though I have only be a part of the society for a few months, I can already tell that this experience will benefit me in huge ways. I've already met a lot of lovely, kind, professional, talented, quirky, and most of all, encouraging people in this society.

Many thanks goes out to my critique group as well. Starting last fall, we started meeting to discuss writing, books, and read and critique our work. I have never met a more uplifting and encouraging group of people who make you feel great about fixing what's wrong with your work! It is this small group that has encouraged me to press on. Thank you Bena, Charla, and Manny (yes, you are included as well)!

Oh yeah, and thanks to Mom, Dad, Joel, and the kids, for already acting like I'm a professional. You're the best!

– jenny

Super Girl

These days I'm spending much more time on my sketches and trying to develop characters.



The phone is now a fancy paper weight. – jenny

Panda Zombies

The intention for these pandas was to be much cuter. However, they look a bit ...

a bit ...

Zombie-ish!



"Please eat our brainnnnnsssss!"

The kids loved them anyway.

– jenny

Happy Easter!

This is what the Easter Bunny has to deal with these days:




This is the second year we've give a book by the dynamic duo: Sally Lloyd Jones and Jago. Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing is a wonderful devotional for children. It's written in such a way that the deepest thoughts and feelings in the hearts of children are easily and lovingly laid out in beautiful illustrations. This has prompted lovely bedtime discussions about life and faith with my children. Jago rocks. Sally too.




What would Easter be without a little Perler Beads art?



– jenny

In Panera

There is a man who works every day in Panera. He always wears a loud Hawaiian shirt. I've brought my markers to sketch him. He has no legs.

– jenny

Waiting and Sketch Books

I do a lot of waiting.



Waiting for doctors, waiting for dance class, waiting for school pickup ... just waiting! I always find myself waiting without any kind of sketcbook and you know what happens when the mind wanders. You want to sketch your ideas! It's harder to do on a napkin so I end up writing the idea down on a scrap of paper, lose it, and then wonder what the heck I was going to sketch.

And then I sketch yet another dog.

So I remembered to bring along my sketchbook a few times and decided to really challenge myself!



Emotions in a face are so hard to capture sometimes but yet so essential in conveying the action or feelings of an image. This was frustrating at first, but then really fun as I tried to think of different emotions like the "How are You Feeling Today?" magnets.

Next time I actually remember to throw the sketchbook in my purse, perhaps I'll come up with something great!

– jenny

Young Artist

Rather than sit around and watch TV all day (don't think I'm some sort of supermom, that has happened once or twice but only under life or death circumstances :) ) when one child is sick, we do some drawing.

This is C's still life studies. Which then morphed into outer space scenes. Of course.



He signed all of his drawings.

I'm so proud.

– jenny

Christmas Holidays

Just thought I'd share some photos of our holidays!













Happy Holidays!

– jenny

Happy Christmas

Looking back on this year, I realize just how many blessings I've received. Thank you God! What a great year! I have a kindergartener and first grader. I have many lovely and loving friends who dropped everything they were doing one November weekend to help us move. Then they came back the next day to help more! Unbelievable. I have wonderful parents and in-laws who are willing to also drop everything to come and help when they can.

Even though we are still living among boxes, we are happy to celebrate Christmas and what says Christmas holidays more than the Fireplace DVD? I hope all of you are having a happy holiday this season with friends and/or family close by.

– jenny